I Hate Being Told

If you haven't figured this out yet, I have a strong dislike of being told I "can't" do something, simply because someone (GOONS) might just never have done the research on it before.  To say that you can't, without even trying, or pondering how to do a task, is just plain lazy and rather ridiculous. 

I would even venture to suggest those that insist on "can't" lack a bit of the spirit of adventure. 

My family believes in embracing adventure and living outside of the box marked NORMAL.  (I haven't found a good set of words that NORMAL would stand for, yet, but I do feel that I ought to, don't you?)  I would say that embracing adventure from babyhood to adulthood has put the power of fear into perspective and has made risks less emotionally risky, and sometimes, less mentally and physically risky.  S.D. is a kindred adventuring soul, and together we've found all kinds of ways to make our lives the kind of lives we want to look back on with happiness and satisfaction when we are very old.  We are working towards eudaemonia. 

And what is a life well lived without hot fudge topping?  When the zombies come, and we're living off what we've put by, a little joy into just surviving is just plain important.  So, in the interests of the joy that only hot fudge topping can bring, I started to look into how to put-up hot fudge.

This is when I was told I "can't".  I hate that.  really really.  If I am able to can bacon jam, onion jam, ghee, beef, pork, fowl, and other such things, fudge really ought not be such a stretch, should it?  I didn't think so.

So I read, I watched videos, I bought cookbooks, I really tried to educate myself, and the biggest sticking point that I puzzled over was not about safety, as there are very safe ways of canning dairy, sugars and fats.  I was concerned about how to make a quality product that was heat tolerant and would withstand pressure canning temperatures.  This led to the collection of several hot fudge recipes, which I printed out and reviewed the positive aspects and negative aspects of each.  I wanted to use cocoa powder as an ingredient, and I wanted to use regular sugar as an ingredient, but the recipes using those things would crystalize unless handled with kid gloves, while I was reluctant to use chocolate chips, they seemed like the best option for flavoring.  My sugars are all in liquid form, and while I used some prepared items and combined them, I am certain I could break this recipe down to even more basic ingredients.

As a thought to ponder, though, would I really be doing pressure canning at the apex of the ZA?  No, not really, which is why keeping the recipe as-is will likely be the adopted course of action.  So, with much less ado, here it is, my current Holy Grail of Canning: Canned Hot Fudge Sauce

Gather together your weapons and tools:
heavy bottomed pot (I used a large one that would accommodate more than a gallon of liquid)
wooden spoon(s)
heat-resistant rubber spatula
wire whisk
measuring cups and spoons
jars, lids and bands
pressure canner and accompanying tools

Now, gather your ingredients:
#1 semi sweet or bittersweet chocolate (I may experiment with milk chocolate in the future, but this time through...)
1/2c salted butter
1c Lyle's golden syrup
1/2c corn syrup
1 tsp instant coffee
1 can evaporated milk
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 TBS vanilla

(I had gathered up all the ingredients for all the recipes I'd found, and played Jr. Chemist while doing this experiment, above items were what made it into the mix)

Melt the chocolate and butter over as low of heat as you can get in a heavy bottomed pot.  You do not want to increase your heat for risking burning your product and having to start all over again.  At some juncture in here, wash your jars, heat your lids and start water boiling in your canner.  Add your syrups and coffee, mix well.  Bring back up to temperature.  Mix in evaporated milk and sweetened condensed milk, you'll want to use the whisk at this juncture.  Bring back up to temperature.  Turn off heat, add vanilla, mix well.

Put product into half pint jars, leave 1" headspace.  I'm not kidding about this, do not use 3/4" headspace, use 1", as the product will get really hot and will boil out if the jars are too full, and it's an unholy mess!  Wipe your rims, lid and process at 10# for 60 minutes.

While I am certain that you could put the product into pint jars and process for 75 minutes, I think it would adversely affect your fudge.  As it is, you will need to give it a wee bit of a stir when you open the jars to enjoy.  There is a slight baked-brownie aspect to the final product, instead of being simply velvety-smooth.  S.D. and Lucy found it to be very satisfactory, and had to be restrained from just eating it from the jar with a spoon.

Yeah, I hate being told.